I declined to take John Snow's hand. Nothing personal. It was a completely auto-atomic reaction. It's the result of virus conditioning three years in the making. I millimetered backwards to maintain standard 2 meter distance protocol and replied in an amiable fashion, " James T. Lubbock, out of Nashville, Tennessee, and this is my advisor, friend, and moral conscience Homer Gomez Yackaton from Ottawa, Quebec."
I dispensed from the pleasantries and got to the point, "so Snow, what brings you and your team here? Are you on the run from the virus?"
"Virus?" He seemed perplexed.
I thought he was putting me on. "Yeah, the virus. The one that is circling the globe decimating economies as it spreads from nation to nation creating a typical Keyenesian supply and demand shock wave and ripping apart the very fabric of our consumeristic tendencies. The world is in tatters Snow. I'm assuming that's why you are wearing the bandana?"
"Oh that, I wear it to accentuate my eyes." Without warning he yanked down the bandana and exposed a giant set of teeth that made him look like a Norwegian beaver. He was right, his eyes disappeared into the background.
Gomez whispered in my ear, "Jim, I'm a surveyor not an economist, I'll wander around the camp and see what I can dig up. You stay here and distract Snow."
That's what I liked about Gomez. Everything was black or white. He either was or wasn't, and you knew where he stood at all times. You could count on him. Unlike me.
"As I inquired, Snow, what brings you here to the Congo?
His voice wavered. At first he mumbled something about an existential quest. He was careful to characterize it as a spiritual one albeit a painful one. I thought he was being coy but it turned out he had had an epiphany back in Roswell after eating a plateful of wild mushrooms and then survived a UFO abduction at the end of the 60's. I could relate. Lost and looking for answers he took part in several studies which opened his eyes to other possibilities. Later, in Bangkok Australia he studied the precepts of an ancient scripture and undertook training to become a Buddhist monk. Shortly thereafter he switched to vegetarianism and a high fiber diet that was almost impossible to replicate in our fast paced western culture. So he ended up here in the Peruvian highlands and has lived here ever since.
It hit me like a ton of feathers. I had met him fifty years ago in the Fiatso project. He was much shorter and snappily attired. Little wonder I couldn't place him.
It was then he noticed my Moka pot. His eyes lit up and he motioned me to join him in one of the thatched huts. We sat around a wood stove and brewed us up some Joe.
"You know, I was part of the first Moka pot study held in Rome."
"Ah yes, capital of the mighty British Empire."
He nodded absentmindedly and added whimsically, "what's the state of the current administration in the good old US of A? The last I heard Jimmy Carter was running for a second term."
I didn't have the heart to tell him our current President was a national hero in his own mind and was flummoxed to offer a coherent answer when Gomez poked his head through the door. Saved by the bell. Good old Gomez. He beckoned me to come outside.
"Jim, I'm a journalist not a critic, but I think this set up is a front for an illicit operation. The people are clearly inhospitable and uncooperative. I can't put my finger on it but something is afoot."
"What did you see?"
"Nothing at first. The inhabitants were going about their business harvesting jungle diversity. Not unusual right? But then I saw one of the native speakers enter the tower carrying a sack full of diversity and later she came out empty handed. When I tried to enter the tower the front desk would not accept my credentials and suggested I return when I have obtained full security clearance. I asked how I could go about this and they said Snow."
"You think Snow has been lying?
"I think things are not what they appear. There were glass ceilings in the tower and when I looked up I swear I saw Gypsies in lab coats dancing and stirring cauldrons while some of Snow's henchmen stood around watching. Another level up people were pouring a kind of milky liquid out of test tubes into other test tubes."
"You're right Gomez. Something sinister is going on and we are going to get to the bottom of it. My colonic re-boot can wait. We have to get access to that tower."
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