I was beginning to have the feeling I was just another amorphous character in some wise asses computer game. It happens to me every time I'm delegated to assignment. You know how it is when circumstances are dictated by happenstance and your everyday life, which is boring and pointless, suddenly is infected with crisis or a pathetic case of melodrama that requires attention in the fullness of the moment.
As I said, it happens. The feeling I'm operating within semi-lucid parameters of some AI's sadistic simulation is just plain creepy. The feeling, at first, is subtle, undetectable really, but then it builds ever so gradually which I'm sure is fed by my think patterns which are in themselves an eternal feedback loop.
Here's how it works. I notice things, common everyday things, like a door, and I have a choice, I can go through the door or, well, I don't really know if I have to do anything. Some doors are dead ends. They just fizzle out. Nothing happens, at least nothing of interest. That's generally the story of my life. But some doors propel me forward leading me to other doors which in turn lead to something else again.
When I look at my life from front to back, and if I follow the lines, the right lines, it places me exactly here and now. It can't be coincidence can it?
The crazy thing is I think I have a choice, that I have free will.
And when I've done something good or correct I get a reward. Like a pat on the back from main office, or a pay raise, or free android sex, or better yet, an augment upgrade.
Don't fault me, I have my reasons to believe me and this whole damn flat planet may be virtual. The rules that subjugate our existence are mathematical and set in rigid patterns that reflect basic computer code. Sorry, can't help it. That's just the way it seems to me. The irony is, the human mathematicians and physicists who discovered the rules that guide our universe are part of the game. Rules are just locked doors. Eventually someone finds a key or kicks the damn door in. I'm the kicking down the door type just so you know.
And then there's the mystery of my sardonic compatriot Angel, who just can't be a normal figment, the kind that everybody has. I figure she's an avatar of some type of which I haven't figured out quite yet, meaning is she an implant or a personal interactive device. Time will tell, I hope.
So what does it mean? Damned if I know, I'm just a simple creation of some godlike entity higher up in the chain of universes. I am the proverbial character created for someone else's entertainment and amusement.
Call me an idiot but I sure as hell hope my creator is enjoying the game so far.
As far as I know this program I'm currently functioning in has not crashed. In other words, I have not had a reset and started out from the beginning again. As far as I know. My latest insight is this, would I even know it if the lead I'm following turns out to be a dead end and I'm reset back at the beginning. Does the reset happen so suddenly, swiftly, smoothly that awareness is non existent.
I'm reminded of those antiquated theatrical compositions projected onto two dimensional surfaces created by our original biological ancestral minds. I think they called them movies. There was one called the Matrix. In the composition there was a scene with an otherworldly experience called deja vu. I get that all the time. I think, oh god, this Has happened before. I am virtual. I'm doomed to a life of illusion.
But then again if I were a simulation why would this god like being, my creator so to speak, even have an interest in my pathetic life. I mean, really, who the heck am I and why me? I'm just another self absorbed life form trying to get through another day, surviving from pay cheque to pay cheque.
My point is, what is my creator getting out of this miserable game. If the creator is entertained by my antics then maybe I should feel sorry for the bastard. And here's the thing, if I'm nothing but a character in a simulated game then this probably means you are too.
Don't take it personal. I actually figure we have a fifty fifty chance we're real, which ain't bad odds.
I keep coming up against illogical logic. Here's how I'm stuck. If I find evidence that existence is but a simulation then is that evidence just part of the simulation. So once again I can't really prove that you and I are real can I. You see my quandary.
I have to admit creating an entire world simulation such as ours is impressive. Look, we have poverty, war, inequality, religion (as a way to explain the simulation), which must be infinitely entertaining to those bastards who, if you ask me, have a nasty sense of humour. Strife, conflict, pain, death what a game plan. You gotta love it, the details that is. History, philosophy, evolution, physics, chemistry, biology, all created as methods to convince ourselves we are real and are situated on an actual timeline. Give 'em credit, who ever created us put a lot of effort in the details. I admire them for that.
Telling you all this, exposing personal limitations that I normally keep to myself, I feel like a blithering idiot. I doubt my intelligence because I'm part biological, but highly intelligent minds are artificial not biological. Every self aware individual in the universe knows that. I just get caught up in my thinking sometimes. Hey, give me a break, I'm only part human. Or maybe it's just a glitch in my LBU programming.
Even if I exist as a character in a simulation my life is not so bad. I figure I got it pretty good compared to all you other randoms.
I have a job which provides purpose and meaning although there are times, like today, I seem to have no other choice. I'm sent on assignment by the agency and I'll see it to the end. The perks are good and my physical needs are met. Sure things could be better, like I could be an Augment Level 5 with an AI Grade 3 Consciousness implant (which does not include the gift of foresight) but all things being unequal, what the heck, I am what I am until I'm not.
One final thing, don't be concerned if some viral bug crashes the program. We'll never know it. And if it does, well, that's the way it goes. It's been good to know ya. See ya around sometime. Maybe.
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